feelings and the future

Lately I have been thinking... a lot.

It's about how people deal with feelings, how some people will just

Yet others will just keep it inside

Feelings can suck... but they can also be beautiful

I have some beautiful memories, I have some awful memories. But I try to keep the best ones closest to my heart to make myself feel good.

My best memory is when I went on holiday, I went on a cruise ship called the Thompson celebration. I went on holiday with my parents for a week and we cruised to different locations such as Italy and Greece and we saw some amazing things, we saw ancient ruins in Athens and they were overwhelmingly huge,we saw Pompeii next to the giant volcano that destroyed it. My best memory isn't during any of those amazing things that we saw. My best memory is on the cruise ship, I was walking around on my own at night on the ship. I was too afraid to go into the dark part of the front of it , I don't know why but I thought that the hunter from left4dead was going to jump out on me. (this was when I was 14 years old)

I AM WAITING AT THE FRONT OF THE CRUISE SHIP FOR YOU DAN

I stood there staring at the empty darkness ahead of me and I just wanted to go round to the other side, I didn't want to walk the quarter mile around the other side of the boat. So I walked into the darkness and my eyes only just adjusted to the dark, I was walking and feeling the balcony beside me and one by one I could see little sparkles appearing in the sky and I stood still for a second and leaned over the balcony. I looked up and the sky was full of stars. I can't actually explain how I felt when I saw them. I was overwhelmed. Just staring at the stars whilst being in the middle of the ocean. no light pollution, just stars. I could see a belt of stars leaning across the sky. I saw shooting stars. I was just standing... staring. It was the best feeling I have ever had. I showed my parents and I showed my newly made friend on the boat too. Every day on the boat I couldn't wait until night time to look at the beautiful twinkling stars again.

this is what the ship looks like

when I look at the future

I have a lot of friends right now, two extremely close friends. I look into the future and wonder of they'll still be there, I mean they'll have their own lives and all that but I wonder if they will still want to know me, not just my two closest friends but all of them.

Maybe I'll be in one of their best memories. Maybe they will have the odd thought about me. Maybe I won't be in their memories at all.

What if they just drift off gradually and forget. Leaving me to just be alone like Steve on Minecraft

People have different feelings in their own future

Some live happily smiling wherever they go, spreading joy everywhere they go.

Some live their life for others  making every effort to improve someone else's life

some will purposely cause as much havoc as they can for no reason to make others feel horrible instead of them

some people will just not care where they go

But in the end, being alone is the feeling that sucks the most

to be honest, I want to not care about where I go in the future and not worry about what other people think... anyways bye for now ;D

Dan